I just came from my annual retreat to India. As always, I wrote down my thoughts and realizations so I can bottle the experience.
In the next 10 days or so, I will be sharing with you some parts of my inner journey, one post at a time. But first a prelude.
A few days before my retreat…
I wake up at dawn today realizing that I love myself-
truly and deeply but not madly. It's not the crazy falling in love drama like that of romantic films. It is simply a settling feeling that I fully
accept who I am- flaws, strengths and all.
There are no fireworks or any grand gestures. Instead, it feels like a gentle embrace. As though in my long journey of
working on myself day in and day out for 9 years, I’ve finally come to an
important terminal.
From here, I can fly
(instead of pedalling a bicycle feeling that
it’s taking
forever to reach my goal).
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| image from redcheeksfactory.com |
At this point, I feel secure- no longer needing the affirmation of family or reassurance of friends, not waiting for an applause nor yielding to condescending remarks. I feel invincible- like the evils and the chaos of the world cannot touch me. It doesn’t feel like rainbow and sunshine. It feels steady like a calm lake.
There’s also no need to run for anything, no need to prove
myself, no need to acquire or add anything to myself.
I feel whole.
However, the journey to loving myself did not happen
overnight. I worked on myself again and
again and again.
I regularly check in with myself. I meditate.
I constantly and diligently affirm myself.
I'd like to share with you the affirmations which helped me along
the way.
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| image from melissaohden.co |
meditation by Release Your Wings
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