Day 4: Meet Ego

                                                                             image from peaceofmindretreat.org

I am now at Gyan Sarovar Academy for a Better World at Mount Abu, Rajasthan, India.


Yesterday night, I flew out of Delhi to go to Ahmedabad.  


Early this morning, I travelled by car for 5 hours to Madhuban (how yogis fondly call the academy).  It was a long journey.  


What I notice is that when I'm tired or stressed, my monsters show up because then I let my guard down and don't pay attention as much.


Today, EGO paid me a visit.

image from fineartamerica.com

The Hall of Mirrors


Madhuban is a magical place for us raja yogis.  This is where we meet with our senior teachers and classmates from all over the world.  The vibration is very powerful because almost everyone in the campus practices meditation and follows the discipline set by the institution- even the security guards and the elevator operators.  There's no strata here.  The guards are given the same high regard as the administrators. 


But, this place also serves as a hall of mirror which reflects back the soul's beauty and beast. 

photo by buzzfeed.com

The Unwanted Visitor


At dusk, ego came during the group meditation with the 500 other international students.


Ego was messing with me.  It is saying "You're better at this alone than with this big crowd."


I had to deliberately let the thought go.  Then I reprimanded ego, "Stop. I can gain something here."


It came again around bedtime- during an encounter with one of my dormmates from Thailand  (I'm sharing a big room with 7 sisters).  She asked me if she can sit on my bed to do some work because the light by her bed is busted."


In my head I was saying, "Hey, I just got here and you are already invading my space!" (I'm grouchy when I'm tired.)


I kept my thoughts to myself though and said ok even when a slight irritation is brewing inside.


This time, ego made me feel that I don't quite measure up to this particular dormmate that I can forego my comfort for her convenience.


I could have used the yes-no strategy on her.  I could have told her, "Yes, I want to help you but (no) it's been a long day for me.  I need to rest early."


Ego is like a pendulum.  It swings from one end to the other.  At one point it makes me arrogant- thinking I am better than others.  At other times, it makes me feel less than the next person.

image from plus.google.com

How to burn ego


Today, I saw that I still have traces of ego which I have to burn in my meditation.


You see, aside from constantly checking in with the self and then changing, an easy way to transform is to burn your monsters in the fire of yoga.  


The soul is originally perfect and pure like gold but it has collected alloys (anger, greed, lust, attachment & ego) which made it heavy and impure over the years.


Intense yoga works like a fire that melts the impurities, allowing the soul to return to its innocence.   

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Intense yoga- this is what I will focus 

on this retreat. 
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How about you? Have you figured out what your monsters are?  (If not, this list might help you.)

meditation by Release Your Wings