Pasalubong from India

At least once in your life, you will have an epiphany.  Mine happened a year ago, when I was sitting amidst a crowd of 20,000 in India.  I felt God's love.  He loved me fully, completely, and so deeply that I need nothing more.  I truly experienced that the whole world- the earth and the sky belong to me.

Surprisingly, I also felt that He loves the one sitting beside me and the one at the far end of the assembly as much as He loves me- as full, as deep, as complete.

In a second, I understood how unlimited and unconditional God is.  And from then on, I strive to do the same- love everybody. 

So, in my recent trip to India this year, I was inspired to bring gifts (pasalubong in Filipino) for everyone.

You see, whenever, I stay for 2 weeks in Madhuban, also known as the Brahma KumarisWorld Spiritual University Headquarters, I share some of my reflections to my friends back home.  Here is one those letters.

This was sent to Monday, 28 March, 2011, 11:05 PM

Om Shanti.  Greetings of peace from Mount Abu, Rajasthan India.  
I just e-mailed to let you all know that I am fine.  More than fine, actually.  I really am enjoying the inner journey.  

I thought that coming here is a retreat from everything else.  I was wrong. The trip exposed my weaknesses.  And I had to face, accept, and change it. I now understood why people are afraid of silence.  It is because you actually confront yourself in silence.  My fears, hurts, and darkness  came out and I had to make it disappear by really looking deep deep inside.  And clearing things with myself.  It was hard work but I came out with a clear mind and a clean heart.  And then, I realized how beautiful I truly really am.  And so, it's easier to connect to God (The Good, the Truth, and The Beautiful). 

I hope I can bring you all here to experience it. Will send love and light from here for now. See you in a few days.

Love & Light,

Karen

P.S. They say, yogis levitate. It's true and false. It is really when you feel so happy and so light that the soul can fly.     

This time, I want to give everyone this simple gift- a compilation of some of my realizations, experiences, and reflections during my recent stay in Madhuban, India.

The University in Video
Part 2. Inspired by the real life spiritual experience by Geofferey Wallace, former VP of The Chase Manhattan Bank N.A.

The Kundalini Rising

After 4 days:  2 four-hour plane rides, 2 stop overs, a 12 hour train ride, and a 1 hour bus ride, I finally set foot on the headquarters of the Brahma Kumaris Meditation Center in Mount Abu, or Madhuban as we fondly call it.  I felt instantly refreshed upon entering, as if I didn’t go through that long journey. 

I am so excited to attend the classes, go to my favorite meditation spots, and simply be with the international family.  But for the next  2 days I couldn’t.  I could only attend the early morning meditation and the first class.   Then, I’d sleep the rest of the day.  I would only wake up for meals and would be too tired to do anything else after that.  I felt that my hyperactive spirit is jailed inside my frail body.  And I couldn’t do anything but will to the body.

Or so I thought.  On the third day, an angel (a sister from the Philippines) told me what was happening.  She said that a disease is a mere message that my spirit is not at ease (dis ease- got it?).  My spirit wishes to burst forth but there are blockages, hence the physical illness.  That means my sickness is only a manifestation of a desonance of the body and spirit.  Thank God!  I really thought I’m going to die in Madhuban- that’s how weird I feel.  (Side note: I do want to die here but I wouldn’t hear the end of it from those closest to me- like I can still hear them if I do die.  Plus I don’t want to burden my companions.  It’s difficult enough to drag their bags along the 4 day journey back home.  How will they manage a dead body?)

So, let’s go back to me not dying.  She said this is what you call the kundalini rising.  For me, the image is that of the rising of the phoenix.  The old bird dies and from its ashes springs forth the powerful and mystical bird.  Since I’m fixated on dying, she finally relented that I may die in a sense that the old me dies so the brand new me emerges. Very dramatic, eh?  However, the work involve is painstaking.  5 days after hearing it, I’m still working on making the shift which will help me reach the phoenix status.  This means, I still am bed bound for at least 2 hours (I’m quite hyperactive and this is a real punishment for me).

"I need to shift. I need to shift. I need to shift!!!" 

The angel told me that I have to figure out what shift I needed to bring in my life.  I have to pinpoint and eventually stop that which does not work in my life anymore.  And only do the things which are aligned to my spirit.  It’s a hit and miss she says.  And it could be a long process.  It took her two years.

I’m partly writing to see if this can be my hit- that thing which will help my kundalini rise.

more info on healing           

I Don’t Want to Lose My Happiness

Those were the words of my travel companion, who lost her luggage, on the first leg of our journey to India  (our route: from Manila fly to KL, Malaysia & ; fly to New Delhi, India &; train ride to Abu road & ; then bus to the university on Mount Abu).  She spoke to me calmly as if nothing happened. 

She related that a similar incident occurred to one of our classmates in meditation some few years back.  While she was sound asleep on the night train, everything was stolen from her- luggage, hand carry bag, passport, and money.  Angry and upset, she went to the dadis (senior sisters) to report what happened as soon as she arrived in the university. 

The first thing one dadi asked her was, “Did you lose your happiness also?”

In one class, Baba, our main guru (teacher) said that it is the duty of the situation to come and my responsibility to pass the situation.

He elaborated that any situation is simply a test. Asking,  Why this happened?  How could you this happen to me? or reacting negatively- getting angry, or depressed will never make any circumstance right.

“If problems come what I have to do is to keep my intellect clear so I know what to do in those situations”, shared Didi Nirmala, the university’s Asia-Pacific coordinator.

Accepting whatever is in front of me and responding to it in the most beautiful manner will make me pass the test with honors. 

My travel companion never got back her luggage.  She had to buy few items from the market, borrow luggage, accept hand me downs, and wash her clothes every single day in our 2 weeks stay in Mount Abu.  I never heard a single complaint from her.  She held on to her happiness and passed her test with flying colors.

The Case of the Thermal Pyjamas

There are times when I feel that God is my loving Father ( in other times He can be my Mother, my Friend, my Beloved ).  So if I need anything from Him, I only need to ask.  Not in a begging sort of way, like “Please God, Please God, Please God give me this”.  But I talk to Him like a child who has a right to his property.

So, one fine cold day on the mountain top, I told Him.  “You know, I came here so I can be closer to you (This particular mountain is so magical for me that I forget the world when I’m there and I can just focus on myself and my relationship with the Supreme Soul) but I didn’t know it would so cold here, can you please send me a pair a thermal clothes.  Add in a pair of socks, too.” 

I waited.  (Since God is the perfect parent I always feel that He’ll just take care of me.)  But no clothes came.  He sent the sun instead.

It’s funny how I look at God ordinarily.  He is God after all (with a capital G), so it’s just easy for Him to send the sun.  Why would he send a pair of pyjamas when He could send the yellow ball from the heavens to give me warmth?

The Angry Bird Followed Me to India

I don’t like angry birds because they’re silly.  They use themselves as canons in their war against the pigs (angry bird game).  So, they die whether they hit their target or not and eventually leave their chicks orphaned (if ever they succeed in rescuing the eggs).

Such is anger, it makes birds and people alike illogical.  

But, I don’t want to write about anger.  I’d like to shed light on dislike, a close relative of anger. 

They say that the law of attraction allows one to manifest whatever it is he truly desires.  If I think about it ardently, it will come. Consequently, it's possible to call forth what I don’t like (since I think of it as well).  Dislike is a strong energy which is sometimes even greater than wanting.

A friend gave me an angry bird hat to bring to India.  I left it.  I didn’t like angry birds, remember?  Incidentally, that friend went to India also and brought the bird with her.  She thought I forgot it.  The bird literally flew around 3,000 miles to come to me (2,961 miles if you want to be exact).

And I had to wear it! (It's an angry bird bonnet.) It turned out to be really cold at night (during the first week) and I didn’t pack a headgear.  Since, it was my nightly companion, I decided to make peace with the bird.  "What can I do if it’s angry?  I cannot change it.  It is what it is. The only thing I can change is my perception of it.   I don’t have to be irritated, feel bad, or even react to it."

Bro. Nirwair, a senior yogi based in India, shared in his class, “what is right is right and what is wrong is also right”. 

Life is a drama.  It is inherent in the plot that heroes and heroines come across the protagonists and villains.  And the heroes can only become who they truly are if they win over the bad guys. 

    

In this case, it’s as simple as accepting their existence. ( I'm the hero, the angry bird's the villain.  Got it? )

  

Practice Not Caring

I heard this many years back from an angel seer.  He claimed that angels talk to him and asked him to spread this message.  He didn’t expound.  And I didn’t understand what he meant.

Now, I do.   A senior yogi mentioned in class yesterday that one obstacle in following the spiritual path is imagination.  “This one didn’t look at me so she must not like me.”  “This one didn’t see me, she didn’t even say hello.”  “He didn’t smile back to me, he must be angry at me.”  These are wasteful thoughts which blocks me from moving forward.

Anthea Church in her book Inner Beauty has this to say, “When someone talks to you, you are not necessarily the focus of their attention but they are bringing with them a hundred other thoughts and concerns. You are only a foothold on their way.”

She explains that there is a wrong notion that “I“am the center of the universe so every little thing is about me.

In practical life, if someone shouts at me, she must be having a bad day and is just projecting it at me.  I don’t have to take the insult and feel bad.  She must be feeling very low and thinks that dumping it on others will help.  And if someone praises me to no end, I check if I take it in, such that my head becomes bigger.   

I call this reacting.  I’ll only smile when she smiles.  It is allowing another’s behavior dictate how I will feel and then act based on that.  Can I not smile at someone who has darting eyes and crumpled face?  Why do I have to let go of my peace just because the other person is angry?  I don’t need to stop being happy just so I can join the grumpy bandwagon.

For me, it is also not minding the things which do not really concern me.  This one did this.  The other one responded this way.  This thing happened.  Why do I want to get involved in unnecessary talk or gossip when it only grabs time away from attending to my personal growth?

It is also caring too much about what other people will think or say such that it paralyzes me to inaction or makes me do something I really don't really intend to do.   " I shouldn’t do this because they’ll just laugh at me." or  "I’ll do this because my friends want me to.".  Where has my self-respect gone?

Practice not caring, a very wise advise.

How come 2-year olds can say it without batting an eyelash and I couldn’t even utter the word?  What’s my issue?  Is it my fear of rejection? My need to please others?  My non-argumentative nature?

It’s a simple situation really.  I’m travelling back home with 4 other companions.  We have 8 hours to burn before the next flight.  Three of them want to go out of the airport and leave their luggage behind with the 2 of us who plan to stay and rest.  I am uncomfortable with the idea but I didn’t say anything.

They hulled the luggage to the next terminal while I stubbornly stayed and continued to leisurely eat my breakfast.  I thought they’d get it that I do not want to be responsible for their things.  They didn’t. 

My fault was not saying anything.  I refused to face the situation.  So, I ended up with the situation I didn’t like (being one of the the luggage caretakers).  Either way, it was lose-lose for me.  

Moral lesson of the story:  Be courageous enough to say NO (diplomatically) if I’m not comfortable with a situation.  

I Lose What I Hold on to the Most

This is a precious lesson my old and trusted scrunchy taught me ( or reminded me of ).

After the new one I brought snapped, I told my old scrunchy, “Now, you’re the only one I have.  Make sure to stay with me until the end of my trip, ok”.  ( Yes, I talk to things. )

And it slipped from my hair the next day.  I retraced my steps, looked around, and tried to find a replacement in the store- but there’s no one like it.  I could not get a single scrunchy on top of the mountain. 

But I wasn’t devasted.  Instead, I let go.  I had a feeling it was bound to happen.

For someone following a spiritual path, holding on to something or someone is often a blockage.  It gives me a false sense of identity.  If I identify myself with the gadgets, cars, houses, or any material possession- my sense of self will go up or down depending on how much I have.  The same happens if I identify with position.  If I attach myself too closely to the people in my life, what will happen to me if my role with them finishes? 

Sister Denise from Canada related that there might be a time when all the worldly support we are holding on to collapse. 

Can I take the blow? Who am I without the money, the position, and the accolades?  What do I do if I am no longer someone else’s manager, daughter, or sister, or friend?  Can I carry on?

If everything that I value in my life leaves me, do I still know who I am?   

Giving blessings on the streets of India

It is customary for our senior sisters to give us blessings (powerful words which can either be an affirmation or a direction for you) after a meeting, a class, or a celebration.

Somehow, I carry this practice wherever I am.  I usually bring blessing cards with me, and hand it to people as gifts.

I gave one card to a very helpful street vendor in Delhi when we visited the market to buy fruits for our return journey.  I read the English words to him.  He couldn’t understand it and no one can translate for me at that time.  So, I pointed up and he understood I meant God. Then, I pointed to my heart and then to Him.  A huge smile flashed across his face and I think he understood that the blessing meant God is in his heart.

The man then passed the card to a little boy.  He liked the picture on the card and he followed us as we shopped in other carts.  Seeing his enthusiasm, I asked him to pick his own card.  Again, I explained in gestures and in 1-2 Hindi utterances.  A passerby got curious and stopped to witness this exchange between a small boy and a white clad lady.  When I finished, I also gave him a blessing and then the vendor we are now buying from.  As I continued to explain, a small crowd of vendors and spectators gathered, each one waiting for their turn to pick a blessing and watch its nonverbal interpretation.

It’s an incident which brings a smile to my face when I remember it.  It just goes to show how everyone really appreciates a kind word or gesture even though how small it is and how infectious a simple deed done with love and happiness can be.

   

Never Travel Alone

Specially on the trains in India (if you can avoid it).

On my way home, while waiting for boarding, I asked a French woman sitting beside me if she’s been on the train.  She said, "It’s a movie experience".  For me, it was quite a scary movie experience.

There were eight of us who opted to take the 12-hour night train ride to Abu Road, Rajasthan, India and from there it was just a one hour bus ride to the university on top of the mountain (The other option is to take the plane then a 5-6 hour private bus or car ride.). 

Of course, I would take the more adventurous route.  I never rode the train in my 2 previous visits.  This was my  first time to experience the India I saw in Slumdog Millionaire.  (The parts of India I often go to are the most peaceful and beautiful places I’ve ever been to in my life.).  The terminal was recently renovated and quite clean but there were a lot of people including beggars asking for alms. 

The drama happened when the brother (we call each other brothers and sisters because we are all children of One Father) who brought us to the train station left for awhile.  I saw several people watching us.  There was an old man in an old suit and a backpack scanning the scene.  A lanky man was intently looking at us from behind.  Around 5-6 other people were discretely moving around our group.  They all pretended to be train passengers waiting for their ride, but, their eyes could not lie.  They were restless and dark.  I felt that they were part of a gang looking at us as targets.

We were all women, 6 out of 8 were senior citizens.  While everyone was busy taking pictures and chatting, I alerted them of the situation.  The senior citizens continued with their carefree ways while the two younger ones stood guard.

Now, what could 2 young women do to scare off the bad guys?  The other sister brought out her long stick (a climbing stick that could be mistaken for a weapon) and practiced her sword drills with it.  While, I stayed calm and meditated for awhile.  I remembered what I heard in class the previous day, silence is power.  "Time to tap on this power", I told myself.  After meditation, I instinctively kept a stern face and stared at each one of the villains (though it’s very difficult for me to even look angry, my siblings think I’m still joking with them even if I’m  red-hot-mad already).  The gang seemed uneasy but unperturbed.  One of them even went near our group and asked for a picture (probably to distract us), while I saw the rest of them closing in on our group.  My companions agreed to have the picture taken while the two of us clutched our bags and kept our stern gaze on the mob.

We did the staring game for what seemed like eternity.  Finally, the brother and our train arrived. 

I breathed a sigh of relief.  Only to find out that they were on the same train and they were not giving up on us.  One of them was billeted in a bunk bed near us. (Each cabin has 3 double-deck beds with curtains as partitions.  Two beds are facing each other while a single double-deck bed is placed near the aisle.). While, another co-passenger had the bad guy aura (i don't think he's part of their gang).  I brought out my secret weapon again- silence.  This time after meditation, the signal for me was to use the sword of kindness.  So, I looked at them as my brothers and chose to see them as good souls (our 2 other bunk mates seem really  kind and harmless).

I’m with the younger sister (The senior sisters were quartered elsewhere with good travel companions.).  She immediately chained our bags, so that secured our luggage (a smart idea!).  Before going up to her bed on top, she warned me not to talk to our bunk mates.  This, I disobeyed.  I offered our food pack and ice cream to them (they serve this on board).  The one with the bad guy aura accepted it.   I also gave all our bunk mates blessing cards (They all speak & understand English!).  Then, I meditated and stayed on guard until midnight (we practice open-eyed meditation so I look alert and on-guard even when i'm doing yoga).  When the gangster saw that I’m not going to sleep, he eventually left.  While, the other bad guy slept.  Sensing that the villains finally decided to stop the chase, I slept peacefully for the  next 4 hours.  And I woke up with all our baggage intact.     

Now, I learned that in times of trouble, I could draw on silence as a weapon and it will and protect me- always.

The Meeting

Loveful!

I came                                                                                                  
                                                        You heed the call

   I am weary                                                                                                         

                                                              You’ve come to the Ocean

 I just want to be with You

                                                                     You belong to Me

Blissful!

I’ve found everything

                                                      The earth, the sky, the whole world are yours

    I am whole

                                                               You will be perfect

 I now know

                                                                        Now, emerge and be merged

Powerful!

I receive

                                                   Take as much as you want

    I am full

                                                               Then, you can give

  I am ready

                                                                          I will be with you 

                                                                                                  

                                                                                               

                                                                                                               

I Touched the Sun

With a stick in my hand and a prayer in my heart

I climbed

The steep stairs and the jugged rocks

I trod carefully

Watching each step

Taking pauses to catch my breath

The sun welcomed me as I reach the top

I sat

Not expecting much

“I just want to be with you”

I told the sun

The sun did not talk back

The golden ball in front of me was glistening

I looked up

It was coloring the sky with its yellow rays

And slowly removing the blocks in my soul

I saw fumes from inside me rise up to sky

It was taking away all the waste

Then the rays changed to bright orange

I bathed

In its pure vibration and healing waves

It then turned into brilliant red

And I felt its power and its strength

My spirit was being recharged

The hues kept on changing

I absorbed

The energy and the experience

Peaceful blue rays   

Blissful yellow light

Nurturing green waves

Dancing indigo and violet beams

I passed the stick and came down with a lighter heart

I smiled

I have touched the sun

Then,  it sang to me

“Your true colors I see

And that’s the reason I love you”