I heard this many years back from an angel seer. He claimed that angels talk to him and asked him to spread this message. He didn’t expound. And I didn’t understand what he meant.
Now, I do. A senior yogi mentioned in class yesterday that one obstacle in following the spiritual path is imagination. “This one didn’t look at me so she must not like me.” “This one didn’t see me, she didn’t even say hello.” “He didn’t smile back to me, he must be angry at me.” These are wasteful thoughts which blocks me from moving forward.
Anthea Church in her book Inner Beauty has this to say, “When someone talks to you, you are not necessarily the focus of their attention but they are bringing with them a hundred other thoughts and concerns. You are only a foothold on their way.”
She explains that there is a wrong notion that “I“am the center of the universe so every little thing is about me.
In practical life, if someone shouts at me, she must be having a bad day and is just projecting it at me. I don’t have to take the insult and feel bad. She must be feeling very low and thinks that dumping it on others will help. And if someone praises me to no end, I check if I take it in, such that my head becomes bigger.
I call this reacting. I’ll only smile when she smiles. It is allowing another’s behavior dictate how I will feel and then act based on that. Can I not smile at someone who has darting eyes and crumpled face? Why do I have to let go of my peace just because the other person is angry? I don’t need to stop being happy just so I can join the grumpy bandwagon.
For me, it is also not minding the things which do not really concern me. This one did this. The other one responded this way. This thing happened. Why do I want to get involved in unnecessary talk or gossip when it only grabs time away from attending to my personal growth?
It is also caring too much about what other people will think or say such that it paralyzes me to inaction or makes me do something I really don't really intend to do. " I shouldn’t do this because they’ll just laugh at me." or "I’ll do this because my friends want me to.". Where has my self-respect gone?
Practice not caring, a very wise advise.