The Kundalini Rising

After 4 days:  2 four-hour plane rides, 2 stop overs, a 12 hour train ride, and a 1 hour bus ride, I finally set foot on the headquarters of the Brahma Kumaris Meditation Center in Mount Abu, or Madhuban as we fondly call it.  I felt instantly refreshed upon entering, as if I didn’t go through that long journey. 

I am so excited to attend the classes, go to my favorite meditation spots, and simply be with the international family.  But for the next  2 days I couldn’t.  I could only attend the early morning meditation and the first class.   Then, I’d sleep the rest of the day.  I would only wake up for meals and would be too tired to do anything else after that.  I felt that my hyperactive spirit is jailed inside my frail body.  And I couldn’t do anything but will to the body.

Or so I thought.  On the third day, an angel (a sister from the Philippines) told me what was happening.  She said that a disease is a mere message that my spirit is not at ease (dis ease- got it?).  My spirit wishes to burst forth but there are blockages, hence the physical illness.  That means my sickness is only a manifestation of a desonance of the body and spirit.  Thank God!  I really thought I’m going to die in Madhuban- that’s how weird I feel.  (Side note: I do want to die here but I wouldn’t hear the end of it from those closest to me- like I can still hear them if I do die.  Plus I don’t want to burden my companions.  It’s difficult enough to drag their bags along the 4 day journey back home.  How will they manage a dead body?)

So, let’s go back to me not dying.  She said this is what you call the kundalini rising.  For me, the image is that of the rising of the phoenix.  The old bird dies and from its ashes springs forth the powerful and mystical bird.  Since I’m fixated on dying, she finally relented that I may die in a sense that the old me dies so the brand new me emerges. Very dramatic, eh?  However, the work involve is painstaking.  5 days after hearing it, I’m still working on making the shift which will help me reach the phoenix status.  This means, I still am bed bound for at least 2 hours (I’m quite hyperactive and this is a real punishment for me).

"I need to shift. I need to shift. I need to shift!!!" 

The angel told me that I have to figure out what shift I needed to bring in my life.  I have to pinpoint and eventually stop that which does not work in my life anymore.  And only do the things which are aligned to my spirit.  It’s a hit and miss she says.  And it could be a long process.  It took her two years.

I’m partly writing to see if this can be my hit- that thing which will help my kundalini rise.

more info on healing           

I Don’t Want to Lose My Happiness

Those were the words of my travel companion, who lost her luggage, on the first leg of our journey to India  (our route: from Manila fly to KL, Malaysia & ; fly to New Delhi, India &; train ride to Abu road & ; then bus to the university on Mount Abu).  She spoke to me calmly as if nothing happened. 

She related that a similar incident occurred to one of our classmates in meditation some few years back.  While she was sound asleep on the night train, everything was stolen from her- luggage, hand carry bag, passport, and money.  Angry and upset, she went to the dadis (senior sisters) to report what happened as soon as she arrived in the university. 

The first thing one dadi asked her was, “Did you lose your happiness also?”

In one class, Baba, our main guru (teacher) said that it is the duty of the situation to come and my responsibility to pass the situation.

He elaborated that any situation is simply a test. Asking,  Why this happened?  How could you this happen to me? or reacting negatively- getting angry, or depressed will never make any circumstance right.

“If problems come what I have to do is to keep my intellect clear so I know what to do in those situations”, shared Didi Nirmala, the university’s Asia-Pacific coordinator.

Accepting whatever is in front of me and responding to it in the most beautiful manner will make me pass the test with honors. 

My travel companion never got back her luggage.  She had to buy few items from the market, borrow luggage, accept hand me downs, and wash her clothes every single day in our 2 weeks stay in Mount Abu.  I never heard a single complaint from her.  She held on to her happiness and passed her test with flying colors.

How come 2-year olds can say it without batting an eyelash and I couldn’t even utter the word?  What’s my issue?  Is it my fear of rejection? My need to please others?  My non-argumentative nature?

It’s a simple situation really.  I’m travelling back home with 4 other companions.  We have 8 hours to burn before the next flight.  Three of them want to go out of the airport and leave their luggage behind with the 2 of us who plan to stay and rest.  I am uncomfortable with the idea but I didn’t say anything.

They hulled the luggage to the next terminal while I stubbornly stayed and continued to leisurely eat my breakfast.  I thought they’d get it that I do not want to be responsible for their things.  They didn’t. 

My fault was not saying anything.  I refused to face the situation.  So, I ended up with the situation I didn’t like (being one of the the luggage caretakers).  Either way, it was lose-lose for me.  

Moral lesson of the story:  Be courageous enough to say NO (diplomatically) if I’m not comfortable with a situation.  

Never Travel Alone

Specially on the trains in India (if you can avoid it).

On my way home, while waiting for boarding, I asked a French woman sitting beside me if she’s been on the train.  She said, "It’s a movie experience".  For me, it was quite a scary movie experience.

There were eight of us who opted to take the 12-hour night train ride to Abu Road, Rajasthan, India and from there it was just a one hour bus ride to the university on top of the mountain (The other option is to take the plane then a 5-6 hour private bus or car ride.). 

Of course, I would take the more adventurous route.  I never rode the train in my 2 previous visits.  This was my  first time to experience the India I saw in Slumdog Millionaire.  (The parts of India I often go to are the most peaceful and beautiful places I’ve ever been to in my life.).  The terminal was recently renovated and quite clean but there were a lot of people including beggars asking for alms. 

The drama happened when the brother (we call each other brothers and sisters because we are all children of One Father) who brought us to the train station left for awhile.  I saw several people watching us.  There was an old man in an old suit and a backpack scanning the scene.  A lanky man was intently looking at us from behind.  Around 5-6 other people were discretely moving around our group.  They all pretended to be train passengers waiting for their ride, but, their eyes could not lie.  They were restless and dark.  I felt that they were part of a gang looking at us as targets.

We were all women, 6 out of 8 were senior citizens.  While everyone was busy taking pictures and chatting, I alerted them of the situation.  The senior citizens continued with their carefree ways while the two younger ones stood guard.

Now, what could 2 young women do to scare off the bad guys?  The other sister brought out her long stick (a climbing stick that could be mistaken for a weapon) and practiced her sword drills with it.  While, I stayed calm and meditated for awhile.  I remembered what I heard in class the previous day, silence is power.  "Time to tap on this power", I told myself.  After meditation, I instinctively kept a stern face and stared at each one of the villains (though it’s very difficult for me to even look angry, my siblings think I’m still joking with them even if I’m  red-hot-mad already).  The gang seemed uneasy but unperturbed.  One of them even went near our group and asked for a picture (probably to distract us), while I saw the rest of them closing in on our group.  My companions agreed to have the picture taken while the two of us clutched our bags and kept our stern gaze on the mob.

We did the staring game for what seemed like eternity.  Finally, the brother and our train arrived. 

I breathed a sigh of relief.  Only to find out that they were on the same train and they were not giving up on us.  One of them was billeted in a bunk bed near us. (Each cabin has 3 double-deck beds with curtains as partitions.  Two beds are facing each other while a single double-deck bed is placed near the aisle.). While, another co-passenger had the bad guy aura (i don't think he's part of their gang).  I brought out my secret weapon again- silence.  This time after meditation, the signal for me was to use the sword of kindness.  So, I looked at them as my brothers and chose to see them as good souls (our 2 other bunk mates seem really  kind and harmless).

I’m with the younger sister (The senior sisters were quartered elsewhere with good travel companions.).  She immediately chained our bags, so that secured our luggage (a smart idea!).  Before going up to her bed on top, she warned me not to talk to our bunk mates.  This, I disobeyed.  I offered our food pack and ice cream to them (they serve this on board).  The one with the bad guy aura accepted it.   I also gave all our bunk mates blessing cards (They all speak & understand English!).  Then, I meditated and stayed on guard until midnight (we practice open-eyed meditation so I look alert and on-guard even when i'm doing yoga).  When the gangster saw that I’m not going to sleep, he eventually left.  While, the other bad guy slept.  Sensing that the villains finally decided to stop the chase, I slept peacefully for the  next 4 hours.  And I woke up with all our baggage intact.     

Now, I learned that in times of trouble, I could draw on silence as a weapon and it will and protect me- always.