Day 7: I feel hurt

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                                                                          April 9, 2017

Dearest Baba,

          I received news that the main speaker for the big mela (meeting) tomorrow is not coming.  At first I told myself, “ I needed this. There’s a message here that’s why this is happening to me again."  It took me a while to connect in yoga though.  I forgot to check in how I feel.  I felt hurt.  There was a tinge in my heart when the news was confirmed.  I took it personally.  “Did I do something wrong?  Was I not prepared for the meeting”, I asked myself.  

         On the other hand, everyone I talked to seemed unfazed. Claire from the Carribean in her French accent said, “Sister drama is perfect.  Everything is perfect.” She was waving both her hands up while talking as though dismissing the severity of the situation.  Rup, a 60 year old yogi from Holland tried to comfort me by saying, “You know a yogi remains in equanimity in happy or sad situation”.  Brother Ojie from the Philippines said, “This is the sign of the times.  We really have to be ready no matter what.”

          I guess I wasn’t ready.  I was too busy finishing my affairs even while in Madhuban.  I was so caught with work back home, my preparation for this trip fell short.

         I think there lies the sadness- in the guilt that I may have caused it.  I want to make up.

                                                                   Love,

                                                                          Karen

meditation by Release Your Wings