Gossiping Hurts

image from http://www.actsofgoodness.org

If you've been reading this blog then you know that I am writing for myself and not for anybody else. You also know that my goal is to become a better version of myself.  But, sometimes I still make mistakes.

Well, I have a confession to make.  

I gossiped! 

It happened a week ago at a party.  People were talking about this particular girl.  She had some quirks you see. And, she left the party earlier (that's why people had the chance to talk about her).

I was not very much involved in the conversation (or was I?).  I couldn't really remember (I think it's the denial that's kicking in).  But what I do know is that, it was actually quite enjoyable to talk about another person (promise, i rarely do this).  People were imitating her and making all sorts of jokes about her.  I was hysterically laughing with them, my tummy hurts.

Now, I understand why gossiping has become a favorite hobby of people.  It's really entertaining to laugh at others.

But, that night I could not sleep though I my eyelids were heavy and my body was really tired.  I knew I made a mistake.

Yes, I refuse to hurt animals (i'm vegetarian because I am for non-violence) but I realize that I threw invisible daggers at this girl when I joined in the conversation.  

Yes, that's what happens when we talk about others behind their backs, we throw daggers at them and dirty their faces (Can you really see the object of the gossip in the same way after talking about her?).  We hurt them.  But, we also hurt ourselves because we move away from our true nature- that of om (peace).    

Also, it's a total waste of time.  When I gossip, I take time away for my introspection and dharna (practice of virtues).  Moreover, I allow garbage to permeate my mind (that's why I feel heavy).

Note to self:  Never ever gossip.  Though it's good while it lasts, it's bad for your spiritual progress (and sleep).

Let her be

image from http://www.learnmeditationonline.org

I asked my friend who's a vegetarian chef why the caldereta (vegetarian- of course!) is extra yummy.  She said, "The key is in simmering.  The flavors of all the ingredients come together when you cook it in low fire for a long time."

I think it is the same with self-development.  It doesn't happen overnight.  It takes time for one to understand and then embody everything.

A lot of those who meditate do so to change old habits, patterns of thinking and behavior.  

Today, a friend commented, "She's been meditating for the longest time and yet she hasn't changed".  

I think some people need longer time to work on their sankaras (patterns) than others.  They may have gone through tougher situations.  Going back to the cooking analogy, a carrot will take a longer time to soften than a malunggay leaf.  Some souls simply need longer simmering time than others.  

I told my friend , "Let her be.  Let's give her the space that she needs."  

Expectations will never ever help anyone move forward.  As they say, a watched pot never boils.

Yoga 101

image from http://www.learnmeditationonline.org

"Discuss what is subtle attachment and how it pulls you away during yoga.", instructed a senior teacher as she ended the meditation class.

We immediately grouped into threes and talked.

"What do you think about it?", asked classmate 1.

"I really have no clue.", I said.

"I think subtle attachment is anything good which turns out bad because it's not used in a right way.", offered classmate 2.  "For example, my talents and skills are good.  I can use it to serve others but if my ego inflates because I have all of these then it's not good."

"The key is in checking the intention and motive.", supplied classmate 1.  "That's why it is subtle."

"Oh, I get it!  So, even if what I'm doing is good, take the non-profit organization I'm working on for  example, if I get too engrossed in it that it interferes with my yoga then it's not good."  (I hardly remember anyone in meditation but ideas sometimes pull me because I enjoy tossing it to and fro in my mind.)

You see, yoga means connection.  In order to connect, one has to disconnect with everything and with  everyone first.  You forget the world (at least during meditation). Then, you step into your original form and afterwards you fly above (with your mind, that is).

It's like traveling solo in a secret hideaway!  You have to leave everything and everyone else behind.  For me, it's the best me-time ever!     

Oh happy day!

image from www.facebook.com/SpecialAchievers

I was (almost) whistling & skipping while walking on my way back home- grateful that my 11am patient cancelled and happy that I have 2 hours lunchtime (I live 2 blocks from my work place).  In my head, I was running down all the other things which I am thankful for when I stepped on poop.

My mind came to a screeching halt.  It just stopped.  No questions.  No irritation. I instinctively knew that I simply have to get the dirt out of my shoes, otherwise it will stink.

It took me a minute or two to iron the mess.  Then, I immediately continued my happy journey back home.

I think that going through any challenge is like stepping on poop.  Whether it's big or small, it changes the smooth flow of things.

If I don't deal with it, it will stink and follow me (sadly, everywhere I go) but if I'm brave enough to face it, then it's no big deal.  However, if I allow it to disturb me, it can me throw me off balance.

For me, the keys to maintaining my om (peace) in any situation are resilience and stability.  How fast can I go back to my center even when unexpected things happen?  Do I allow the situation to shuffle me or do I hold on to my happiness?  

Frankly, it's my daily meditation drills which help me build the power to face any poop I might step on in life (I also understand that it may be praying for some, laughter therapy for others and even morning runs for a few).

Just ruminating. ;)

How about you, what helps you cope?






         

Why is it that when I try to help out another person I end up helping myself?

photo from http://www.servicespace.org

I visited my 66 year old friend today.  I came with an agenda- persuade her to lie down on her bed.

You see, she fell on the floor when she suddenly stood up from her bed one dawn.  It took her 8 hours to get her bearing back.  Her left arm and leg were badly bruised and since then she has never slept on her bed again.

So, she has been sleeping upright- while sitting down, for a month now.  Her legs, feet and ankles are all swollen due to this.  To make the matter worse, she lives alone and refuses to give up her independence.

I came in prepared.  I brought the doctor's prescription (Lie down).  I also showed her the complications of inflammation and simple remedies to alleviate it (No. 1 of which is to elevate the leg while lying down).  None of it worked.  My last resort was to call an orthopedic doctor (who also happens to be a friend) and let him talk her into it.

She told him, "My world whirls around when I lie down.  That is what I am afraid of."

He said, "Just go through it. It will pass".

And that's the exact prescription I need for the day! "Just go through it. It will pass".

It happens all the time, whenever I try to help another person, I end up helping myself.



  

On losing my religion

cartoon by Lalaine Navarro

My little brother and I are in the cab on our way back home when out of nowhere he tells me. "Ate (older sister), you know I hate it when people conclude that you've changed religion just because you're vegetarian now."

I don't know where this conversation is going so I simply listen to his tirade.  "I researched about Buddhism (which really means he just googled it) and what I learned is that they hate money.  They're dirt poor.  So, I gather that you're not a monk!, he exclaims.

I try hard not to laugh. (I love their principles but I am not Buddhist, he just assumed it because I meditate.) If things are as simple as black and white (and if everything on the net is true), then he can be right.

However, being vegetarian may either be a preference or a choice.  It doesn't necessarily mean, one has changed religion.

As for religion, I think that it's more than following a set of rituals.  I always tell my mom (who's a little bothered about my new lifestyle) that I am a better Catholic now that I meditate.  I don't just pray. I also put in time to listen to Him in silence.

As for Buddhists hating money, it's definitely false.  I have Buddhist friends who own large businesses.  (Dearest brother, research does not end by reading a page on the web. You have to talk to the real deal and confirm it).

Also, please know that money is not evil.  Priests, nuns, missionaries, monks, imams, preachers and even saints need this paper to get material goods (which is necessary for living).  It is just like a knife, you can use it for cooking food or for hurting another person (or an animal- which I can't do that's why I don't eat them).

Just pleading my case. :)


P.S.  Regarding the image.  I don't love meat.  My siblings leave stuff like that on my computer to taunt me. Oh well...  

Letter for my 18 year old sister

cartoon by Lalaine Navarro

Dearest Laine,

I'm nearly double your age today.  Since I obviously have more years ahead of you, I've gone through more things- sometimes I succeed and often I fail.  Like any Ate (older sister), I want to spare you from all the pains and give you the best kept secrets I learned along the way.  So here it goes...

Never ever worry about how thin or fat you are.  It doesn't matter.  What matters is how big you're heart is and how level-headed you are.

Never ever chase anything or anyone other than your heart.  As long as you remain true to it, it will point you to the right direction.

Love whatever it is you are doing and it will love you back.

But, before anything else, love yourself first.  And always think, no BELIEVE that you're great.  It makes a whole world of difference- whatever it is you choose to do.

However, even if you choose to simply bum around, I hope that you find The One, The One Who Knows Your Heart or that He finds You.

He'll teach you to simply be who you are.  Then, the doing part will be a lot easier.

Then again, know that sometimes it's ok not to care about what other people think.  What's more important is what you think, what you feel and how everything sits with you.

So, feel free to take this advice, dump it in the dumpster or just choose which ones work for you.  You have the free hand.  Know that in life you always have a choice, dearest sister.
          

                                                                                                                         Yours 'til the sun shines,

Ate Karen 

I met Professor X

"The plum blossom is a common subject in Chinese painting because it symbolizes resilience.  In China, this tree blooms even in the coldest of winters.", explains 63 year old Professor Esguerra.

I feel that he has a close affinity to it because it is very symbolic of his life.

"I was abandoned at the hospital (PGH) when I was 4 days old," he opens up.

"Fortunately, a kind couple adopted me.  However, I was barely out of highschool when my mother contacted epilepsy which lead to brain damage.  My father, on the other hand, was a simple government employee.  To help him make both ends meet, I chose to be a working student".

"I pursued college in UP Los Banos.  I was almost in my last year of veterinary medicine when my father got Alzheimers.  I had to take a full time job and study at night.  However, the only UP school which offered night classes at that time was UP Manila.  So, I shifted."

He details the difficulty of juggling work and study but he finally graduated, sent all his other siblings to school and got married.  

Still, life continues to test him.

His wife died before they even get a chance to build a family (a former student related this).  Many years later, the family's ancestral home was forcibly taken away from him. 

Other challenges came up but he remains optimistic, "Everything is just a matter of perspective".

In fact, he says that he's more productive when he has problems.  "I don't face it squarely initially because at that point I'm emotional and vulnerable.  Instead, I focus my attention to art and study.  That's my coping mechanism.  I only look at my problems when I'm stable."

"In life, no one is exempted from pain. You know, it's that thing which builds character", he advises.

He concludes, "Venus Raj's answer to the Miss Universe question should have been, The major problem doesn't matter, what matters is my reaction to the major problem."


P.S.  In case you still couldn't figure out why I call him Professor X,  it's because he simply keeps on flying over the many Xs (a.k.a. obstacles) in his life. 

                                          meditation from youtube

Being with One

cartoon from http://one.brahmakumaris.org

"I've touched the face of God", said choreographer Douglas Nierras.  

That one sentence encapsulates my experience of The Love Of One event I recently attended.  

The ballroom was full and I came in with a friend but I felt that I was in a one-on-one meeting with my CEO.  "Chief Encouragement Officer", as described by Jonathan Batangan, a corporate executive.  Then I had a chit-chat with my friend, a bonding moment with my mother thereafter, then time with my beloved and consultation with my guide afterwards.  

It was like peering into the many faces of God through the experiences of different people.  The meditation which punctuated each sharing allowed me to experiment with the relationship discussed.
  
There were more time for introspection than time to listen to talks.  In fact, the eight speakers shared for only 2 minutes but their monologues were very  honest and personal.  University Professor Rina Corpus said she has been exposed to brilliant minds but in front of God, she's a perennial student.  Newspaper editor Emmie Velarde admitted it is so easy to get swamped by work but when she feels like drowning God is only a thought away. TOWNS awardee Deannie Ocampo marvelled at how precious God sees her that He calls her a diamond in His hand.  NGO head Belle Manapat enjoyed charging with The Source while Senior Meditation Teacher Becky Ortega called Him The Benevolent One.  Former Senator Leticia Shahani disclosed that for her God is both a father and a mother.

Each one of them call Him in different names and relate to Him differently but I feel that they're talking about the same God.  More than ever, I am convinced that there's just The One. 

                                           video from www.youtube.com

Have you found The One?

It was lunch time and the conversation turned a little serious.

"I am an atheist", admitted a young colleague.

"But I'm not one of the staunch ones who thinks there is no God.  I just couldn't find Him."

No one said a word, allowing him to speak his mind.  "I've been reading books, searching the net and talking to gurus..."

I responded, "I was like you when I was in my 20's.  I was devouring books on spirituality and studying all sorts scriptures.  I didn't find God there, either."

"You have to experience God.  It's like swimming, you see.  You can read all the literature in the world about it but unless you go into the water, you'll never learn."

I advised  him to not simply talk to the imams and the buddhists but to enter the mosque or try meditating.

As for me, I found God in silence.

P.S.  You are warmly invited to be extremely quiet while powerfully connected to The Source on September 21 wherever you are in the globe.  This event will be celebrated in 135 countries, look for a center near you at http://one.brahmakumaris.org/time-with-one/