Why is it that when I try to help out another person I end up helping myself?

photo from http://www.servicespace.org

I visited my 66 year old friend today.  I came with an agenda- persuade her to lie down on her bed.

You see, she fell on the floor when she suddenly stood up from her bed one dawn.  It took her 8 hours to get her bearing back.  Her left arm and leg were badly bruised and since then she has never slept on her bed again.

So, she has been sleeping upright- while sitting down, for a month now.  Her legs, feet and ankles are all swollen due to this.  To make the matter worse, she lives alone and refuses to give up her independence.

I came in prepared.  I brought the doctor's prescription (Lie down).  I also showed her the complications of inflammation and simple remedies to alleviate it (No. 1 of which is to elevate the leg while lying down).  None of it worked.  My last resort was to call an orthopedic doctor (who also happens to be a friend) and let him talk her into it.

She told him, "My world whirls around when I lie down.  That is what I am afraid of."

He said, "Just go through it. It will pass".

And that's the exact prescription I need for the day! "Just go through it. It will pass".

It happens all the time, whenever I try to help another person, I end up helping myself.



  

On losing my religion

cartoon by Lalaine Navarro

My little brother and I are in the cab on our way back home when out of nowhere he tells me. "Ate (older sister), you know I hate it when people conclude that you've changed religion just because you're vegetarian now."

I don't know where this conversation is going so I simply listen to his tirade.  "I researched about Buddhism (which really means he just googled it) and what I learned is that they hate money.  They're dirt poor.  So, I gather that you're not a monk!, he exclaims.

I try hard not to laugh. (I love their principles but I am not Buddhist, he just assumed it because I meditate.) If things are as simple as black and white (and if everything on the net is true), then he can be right.

However, being vegetarian may either be a preference or a choice.  It doesn't necessarily mean, one has changed religion.

As for religion, I think that it's more than following a set of rituals.  I always tell my mom (who's a little bothered about my new lifestyle) that I am a better Catholic now that I meditate.  I don't just pray. I also put in time to listen to Him in silence.

As for Buddhists hating money, it's definitely false.  I have Buddhist friends who own large businesses.  (Dearest brother, research does not end by reading a page on the web. You have to talk to the real deal and confirm it).

Also, please know that money is not evil.  Priests, nuns, missionaries, monks, imams, preachers and even saints need this paper to get material goods (which is necessary for living).  It is just like a knife, you can use it for cooking food or for hurting another person (or an animal- which I can't do that's why I don't eat them).

Just pleading my case. :)


P.S.  Regarding the image.  I don't love meat.  My siblings leave stuff like that on my computer to taunt me. Oh well...  

Letter for my 18 year old sister

cartoon by Lalaine Navarro

Dearest Laine,

I'm nearly double your age today.  Since I obviously have more years ahead of you, I've gone through more things- sometimes I succeed and often I fail.  Like any Ate (older sister), I want to spare you from all the pains and give you the best kept secrets I learned along the way.  So here it goes...

Never ever worry about how thin or fat you are.  It doesn't matter.  What matters is how big you're heart is and how level-headed you are.

Never ever chase anything or anyone other than your heart.  As long as you remain true to it, it will point you to the right direction.

Love whatever it is you are doing and it will love you back.

But, before anything else, love yourself first.  And always think, no BELIEVE that you're great.  It makes a whole world of difference- whatever it is you choose to do.

However, even if you choose to simply bum around, I hope that you find The One, The One Who Knows Your Heart or that He finds You.

He'll teach you to simply be who you are.  Then, the doing part will be a lot easier.

Then again, know that sometimes it's ok not to care about what other people think.  What's more important is what you think, what you feel and how everything sits with you.

So, feel free to take this advice, dump it in the dumpster or just choose which ones work for you.  You have the free hand.  Know that in life you always have a choice, dearest sister.
          

                                                                                                                         Yours 'til the sun shines,

Ate Karen 

I met Professor X

"The plum blossom is a common subject in Chinese painting because it symbolizes resilience.  In China, this tree blooms even in the coldest of winters.", explains 63 year old Professor Esguerra.

I feel that he has a close affinity to it because it is very symbolic of his life.

"I was abandoned at the hospital (PGH) when I was 4 days old," he opens up.

"Fortunately, a kind couple adopted me.  However, I was barely out of highschool when my mother contacted epilepsy which lead to brain damage.  My father, on the other hand, was a simple government employee.  To help him make both ends meet, I chose to be a working student".

"I pursued college in UP Los Banos.  I was almost in my last year of veterinary medicine when my father got Alzheimers.  I had to take a full time job and study at night.  However, the only UP school which offered night classes at that time was UP Manila.  So, I shifted."

He details the difficulty of juggling work and study but he finally graduated, sent all his other siblings to school and got married.  

Still, life continues to test him.

His wife died before they even get a chance to build a family (a former student related this).  Many years later, the family's ancestral home was forcibly taken away from him. 

Other challenges came up but he remains optimistic, "Everything is just a matter of perspective".

In fact, he says that he's more productive when he has problems.  "I don't face it squarely initially because at that point I'm emotional and vulnerable.  Instead, I focus my attention to art and study.  That's my coping mechanism.  I only look at my problems when I'm stable."

"In life, no one is exempted from pain. You know, it's that thing which builds character", he advises.

He concludes, "Venus Raj's answer to the Miss Universe question should have been, The major problem doesn't matter, what matters is my reaction to the major problem."


P.S.  In case you still couldn't figure out why I call him Professor X,  it's because he simply keeps on flying over the many Xs (a.k.a. obstacles) in his life. 

                                          meditation from youtube

Being with One

cartoon from http://one.brahmakumaris.org

"I've touched the face of God", said choreographer Douglas Nierras.  

That one sentence encapsulates my experience of The Love Of One event I recently attended.  

The ballroom was full and I came in with a friend but I felt that I was in a one-on-one meeting with my CEO.  "Chief Encouragement Officer", as described by Jonathan Batangan, a corporate executive.  Then I had a chit-chat with my friend, a bonding moment with my mother thereafter, then time with my beloved and consultation with my guide afterwards.  

It was like peering into the many faces of God through the experiences of different people.  The meditation which punctuated each sharing allowed me to experiment with the relationship discussed.
  
There were more time for introspection than time to listen to talks.  In fact, the eight speakers shared for only 2 minutes but their monologues were very  honest and personal.  University Professor Rina Corpus said she has been exposed to brilliant minds but in front of God, she's a perennial student.  Newspaper editor Emmie Velarde admitted it is so easy to get swamped by work but when she feels like drowning God is only a thought away. TOWNS awardee Deannie Ocampo marvelled at how precious God sees her that He calls her a diamond in His hand.  NGO head Belle Manapat enjoyed charging with The Source while Senior Meditation Teacher Becky Ortega called Him The Benevolent One.  Former Senator Leticia Shahani disclosed that for her God is both a father and a mother.

Each one of them call Him in different names and relate to Him differently but I feel that they're talking about the same God.  More than ever, I am convinced that there's just The One. 

                                           video from www.youtube.com

Have you found The One?

It was lunch time and the conversation turned a little serious.

"I am an atheist", admitted a young colleague.

"But I'm not one of the staunch ones who thinks there is no God.  I just couldn't find Him."

No one said a word, allowing him to speak his mind.  "I've been reading books, searching the net and talking to gurus..."

I responded, "I was like you when I was in my 20's.  I was devouring books on spirituality and studying all sorts scriptures.  I didn't find God there, either."

"You have to experience God.  It's like swimming, you see.  You can read all the literature in the world about it but unless you go into the water, you'll never learn."

I advised  him to not simply talk to the imams and the buddhists but to enter the mosque or try meditating.

As for me, I found God in silence.

P.S.  You are warmly invited to be extremely quiet while powerfully connected to The Source on September 21 wherever you are in the globe.  This event will be celebrated in 135 countries, look for a center near you at http://one.brahmakumaris.org/time-with-one/

Follow your heart

We've seen each other during retreats and meditation classes, but we've never really sat down and talked.  We've only exchanged smiles until this day.

We had lunch together at the center in Tagaytay.  As usual, she came in sans make-up and the celebrity status.  "I'm really a quiet person", she opened up.  I wanted to retort back, "I am too. So, bye I'll leave you with your thoughts".

The Interview

But something held me back, instead I asked a question then another and another until I got to know her story.

"I always hear sing from the soul. I don't really know what that means until I learn to meditate.  Before, when I sing it's only the body which sings but now every fabric of my being sings", she shared.

You see, in raja yoga meditation, the first concept taught is that of  "om" (I am a soul).  I am a being of peace, power, purity, love and bliss.  I am here in this world to simply express and experience these qualities. However, as we go through life's journey we forget who we really are.  Meditation teaches us to simply go back to who I really am (a soul).

She then related that pursuing what she loves was a difficult process.  "I was raised and trained to be a business person.  I finished business school.  Afterwards, I worked in the corporate world for five years.  But, it was not a world I want to be in.  In my heart, I am an artist."

The Move

How did you move from corporate to showbiz?, I queried.

"There was a year when I withdrew from everything.  I didn't speak at all and would only use sign language to communicate.  I kept on working on the family business but in my head I was planning my career.  I was dreaming and building everything in my mind"

Anthea Church, author of Inner Space had a similar experience.  She called it digesting time.  She wrote, "It cleared my mind so that when my moment came, I could hear clearly"

The same moment came to Timmy Cruz when she clearly knew that she had to follow her passion.  She had to run away from home though.  Without her family's support,  little savings and fierce determination she carved a name for herself in only a year and a half.

It was not easy though.  To make sure that she survives until the next gig she would only spend P50 a day on herself and save everything else.  As much as she can,  she would eat at the event where she is performing so she saves on food.  And, she never revealed her age.  In an industry which worships youth, admitting that she is already 26 years old when she started her career is suicide.

The Secret

How did you make it?, I asked.  I really wanted to know her route- step by step (just so i know but trust me I'm not planning on being a celebrity)  

"I simply followed my heart", was her short reply.

I guess, it is true what they say when the why is big enough the how is easy.

I met a fairy

image from http://knoledge.org

She watches the wind

Dance around the trees

At the height of the storm

And giggles while everybody else panics

She sleeps under the clouds and talks to it

The clouds answer her back

While the rest of the world stares 

At their own black box

She sings

and the birds chirp

Later, the crickets join in

It's the most beautiful of concerts, she says

She tells me about the Gardener

Who cares for 

And looks after

All of us flowers

Each one is different, she says

The lotus thrives in the mud

The bamboo lives near the water

The orchid loves air

And the Gardener knows 

Each and every single flower

and knows exactly where to put it

In His vast manicured lawn

The fairy taught me to trust the Gardener

He knows my heart

And places me where I can grow best

I am exactly where I should be

I met a prince

cartoon from petit prince gallerie

He was wearing a long cape, a brown cowboy hat, sando, shorts and slippers- nothing like a prince's wardrobe but he assured me that he is a prince.  "My dad is a  king!", he boasted.  I saw past his strange outfit and gave him a curtsy. 


His nanny cautioned me that arguing with him is pointless because he is so convinced that he is a prince.  He would sneak out the towel with a hood he is using as a cape from the laundry area even when it's soiled.  He told all his friends that the hat he's wearing is really a crown and he refused to remove it (and the cape) even when he was sweating profusely while playing dodgeball outdoors.  His friends rewarded his persistence by calling him Prince Mateo.  His lady friend even volunteered to be his princess (even without courtship or dowry!).


I smiled as I watch the scene unfold.  Look at this young boy of four, all he had really was a strong belief and the whole of his universe connived to fulfill it.  In his mind, he was a prince so he acted like one.  Hence, even without demanding the title, subjects or princess he was able to attract everything to himself.


Belief is such a powerful potion.  We use it as children but we forget it as we grow up.  More often than not, that's the only thing we need to turn our dreams into reality.  Thank you, Prince Mateo for reminding me!  

My lucky month has ended, now what?

image from http://paulasponderings.files.wordpress.com

A feng shui expert who also happens to be a good friend told me that June is my luckiest month this year.  "This is the best time to run after your goals", she advised.

I  noted it down, but since I'm still conserving energy at this point, I decided not to pursue anything.  Even when I was told that the elements will conspire to make whatever I want to happen happen,   I did not budge.  Instead,  I simply increased my me-time and inner work (meditation and introspection).  

Just now, I realized that my lucky month has passed.  Briefly,  I made an inventory of what has transpired:

• moved-in to a nicer box
• stayed at my happy place on weekends (as much as I can)
• did not see my doctor (cause I don't need to)
• landed a facilitating gig 
• starting a new project for the NGO 
• still working in lala land (cause i feel as though I can sing lalalala the whole day at work)

Wow!  She's right, so far June is my best month ever for 2014!  I don't think my stars or physical effort has anything to do with it though.

Firstly, I did not follow my friend's advice (I didn't seek out the gig or the project).  Moreso,  I didn't put in more hours at work, at the non-profit organization or even at finding a new place.  Instead, I took time to nurture myself.  I saw to it that I have a clear head and a light heart.  And just like magic, opportunities came knocking.  

Now, I understand that if I take really good care of myself (what I'm thinking and feeling), luck will find me!