I met Superman

image from static.comicvine.com

He stopped trucks
From hauling loads of stones
Out of the river
Using his super voice


He told the bad guys
"Stop this!
Or else I will tell ENRO (Environment & Natural Resources Office)
That you are quarrying without permit"


The villains blasted him with a barangay permit
"The barangay captain and the council support this"
They haughtily reasoned
"Still, you don't have the ENRO's permit",  he punched back


He then flew to the barangay hall to confirm the news
He saw the council feasting on pansit (fried noodles with vegetables)
Sent by the adversary to keep their mouths shut
"So, it's true! You sold the river for a free snack!", he confronted


Before they mobbed him
He used his super speed to run to the office of the mayor
"We cannot do anything if the barangay agreed to the quarrying"
The city administrator advised


"They did not consult the community"
He retorted back
"Then, file a petition against the quarrying"
The office of the mayor challenged


He readily flew back to the village
For days, he knocked on every door
Talked to every person he meets along the road
Until he got hundreds of villagers on his side


Superman created allies
And together they defended the river
The petition was their weapon
Against the mighty tyrants


With the signed petition
And the majority on his side
ENRO and the Office of the Mayor
Had no choice but to send a force field to protect the river


The quarrying is now put on hold
The barangay officials are currently being audited
The young and old who pass by the river daily are now safe
Because of one man who chose to lead the fight


How do I know all this, you ask?
I was superman's sidekick during this whole ordeal
To be honest, he's a simple farmer without a cape
But he has super strength because of his heart of steel

video from easymeditation

'I eat my feelings'

image from www.eatwithoutguilt.com

"I eat my feelings", said a friend.

I tried that but it didn't work for me.  I would pig out when I'm happy or sad and everything else in between but it only made me bloat.

I also attempted to keep it all in so nobody will see it.  After awhile though, it exploded right in front of my face.  I was so hurt I could not readily stand up.

Then, there was the talking it out cure.  I confided to friends but even though I've sorted things out, some of them were still stuck in the situation.  At times too, they would be angrier or sadder than me.

Now, I just write my feelings just so I can see exactly where I am.  I am learning (albeit slowly) not to dwell on it too much or let it control my choices.  They are as fickle as the weather and as unreliable as an outdated map.

I'm teaching myself not to be swayed by the pendulum of my positive and negative reactions.  Of late, I constantly remind myself, "Stay in the middle- at zero.  That's the point of balance."

video from easymeditation

The enemy within

image from http://pridenews.ca

I will fight!

The moment I utter these words, my enemy appears.

I am surprised to see that I am looking at my mirror image. Though we have the same face, we have opposite demeanor.

My mirror image avoids my gaze as I peer straight into her eyes.  Her head is bowed and her hands are folded back.  Like a puppet, she has numerous strings on her arm, hands, legs and feet which allows others to pull her in any which way they wish.  On her head is a handwritten message which says, NOT GOOD ENOUGH.    

"She is my enemy?!", I shout bewildered.

A voice answers, "She is a part of you. She represents your old sanskar (pattern) of pleasing everybody but yourself that you end up not knowing who you are."

"How will I fight her?", I ask.

"You have to set her free.", the voice replies.  "Every time you say yes to something you don't believe in, you allow people pull her here and there.  When you doubt yourself, you make the NOT GOOD ENOUGH message bolder.  When you don't speak your mind, the lower her head bows."

"I am not her! I refuse to be a puppet!", I scream.

Then, one of the strings snap.

Today, I realize that the enemy is not something or someone lurking outside.  What I really have to fight are my old patterns and beliefs (sanskars).

How about you, what old sanskars imprison you?

video from easymeditation

I will fight!

photo from www.t-nation.com

"When someone sticks on your back like a monkey you may shout at them- at least in your mind," says my spiritual adviser from the West.

"You see, there are some people who cling on too tightly to you.  They take it upon themselves to monitor your every move and tell you how to live your life.  You can tell them, "Go to Hell!", she explains. 

"Seriously? How about harmony?", I ask.

"How about your sanity?", she counters.

"When you say yes to everyone and allow people to control you, you give up your power.  You give up your peace. You're not even in harmony with yourself".

"Ok, you give in to the desires of others so they're ok with you.  But, if it doesn't resonate with who you are and what you truly want, then it causes an internal discord.", she continues.

"What do I have to do?", I asks.

"You have to learn to defend yourself.  I use a mantra as a weapon to sticky people who hang on to me like a leech.  In  my mind, I shout at them, "Go to hell!", she replies.

"You see, I can't find another word strong enough so they can let me be.", she elucidates.

Sensing that I'm still not convinced she adds, "You can't be too calm, you'll be trampled on. You have to be strong, too."

"It is balance that you seek, right?," she asks.

"Then, you should know when to accommodate people and when to say, Go to Hell!", she advises.

I really tried my darnest to utter the words but I really can't.  For now all I could say is, "I will fight!"

Have you heard the scandal?

image from artflakes.com

It was way too early in the morning when that question was asked.  I tried to let it pass though it seems too loaded to ignore.

We were in a big room with little kids playing about yet the issue still persisted.  "She was only 12 years old,", said the informant.

My curiosity (a.k.a. hmm-let's-see-what-others-are-doing) got the better of me and so I inquired, "Who is this you're talking about?".

I was immediately given a short reply.  Realizing that I really don't know the person, I kept quiet but the Pandora's box has been opened.  Almost all the adults in the room gave his own version of the tale and his own comment.

I didn't want to have anything to do with it so I mufffled the noise with my inner ramblings.

"You shouldn't have asked!", I rebuked myself. "Why do you need to know?" 

Before my one minute of allowable guilt-tripping ceases, I reminded myself, "You've been very careful with what you feed your mouth (being a strict vegetarian and all that) but sometimes you are not too keen on what passes your ears.  There are too many information in this world which are as useless as garbage."

My one minute alarm beeped but my inner voice continued its tirade, "On the surface, it seems like a casual conversation but you of all people understand energy!  When you pried in, you open the lid of a stinky dust bin and allow it's stench to permeate the air.  Also, whenever you look at the defects of others, you color yourself with that.  It's like a game of throwing mud, you can never get out of it clean."  

With head bowed, I realized that meddling in other people's affair is a total waste of time.  It's their life, their choices.    

video from EasyMeditation

Of rainbows and green pixie dusts

I've seen a lot of rainbow colored profile pictures on facebook lately, alongside different opinions and varied emotions on the topic.

As always, I am Switzerland (neutral).  For me, rainbows will always represent the beautiful colors of the soul.  I play this game with people, tell me your favorite color of the rainbow and I will tell you your strongest virtue.

No peeking! Answer the question first and then read on.

image from EasyMeditation



Red is for Power.
Orange for Purity.
Yellow for Happiness.
Green for Love.
Blue for Peace.
Indigo for Truth.
Violet for Balance.

What did you get?   

By the way, here's my two cent's worth on celebrate pride.  You see, I've been taught that all souls are brothers which means we are family.  I don't know about you but from where I come from, we don't throw family out in the streets- even if we have all the right reasons to.  Even if we don't agree with their beliefs or their decisions, we love them anyway.  I know it's hard to do.  It's easier to just push our position down their throats.  It's easier to say "I am right and you are wrong".  It's easier to rant.

I wish that everyone will simply accept.  Often, it's hard because I have to go down from my "I am right" pedestal or wave the white flag.  Sometimes, it means I have to swallow my pride or keep mum even if I have a long speech prepared.  

Green pixie dusts of acceptance (a.k.a. rays of love)- this is my wish for both celebrators and naysayers. Afterall, we're family.

                                                                  video from EasyMeditation

When I change, the village changes

"You should try farming.", advised my 80 year old friend.

I was reluctant but try I did.

I thought of starting with a vegetable garden because I cannot understand why the farmers have to buy from the market when they can just grow food.  You see, they only plant fruit-bearing trees in our village.   

I visited our place recently and I noticed that most of our neighbors are now planting vegetables for their own consumption and are selling the extra produce.  Even the Mangyans in the farm have their own vegetable garden! 

Since I am a newbie, I asked lots of questions such as, "So, what do you do when the fruit season is over?".  Most of them told me that they simply tighten their belts.  "What do the wealthy farmers do?", I prodded.  "They invest in livestock", they answered. 

Of late, I observed that most villagers have their own piggery and flock of chicken.

I spotted items for merchandise in the boondocks.  The Mangyans would laugh at me though whenever I use the handwoven basket I bought from them.  They didn't know that their products are of great value and environmentally-friendly to boot.

Recently, we sold some of their works and they were so happy that "Tagalogs" (that's how they call the non-Mangyans") appreciate their craftmanship.  

I've met children without dreams.  Before when I asked them, "What do you want to be when you grow up?".  They answered with, "Wala po" (No one).  After 7 months of intermittent coaching, they are now saving up for their dreams.  The boy with a stick wants to have his own farm while the other boy wants to be a seaman.  

I am not saying that I (and Sister Nory, my 60 year old friend who usually comes with me to the farm) brought about the changes in our small village.  I feel that we simply shook things up when we started questioning their usual ways and showed them that the village has a lot of potential.  

Whenever I go down the boondocks, our neighbors often ask, "What do you do up there?" (the farm is a 30 minute trek from the village center) 

I want to retort, "I'm planting seeds of hope." 

   

*photos by Nory San Juan

Goodbye Sister Poyee

photo by Ojie Vergara

"Do you want to have a chopsuey life?", she sternly asked me.

Sister Poyee, my 68 year old mentor can be brutally frank to a hilt.  Sugar coating is not in her vocabulary.  She doesn't swerve here and there when she needs to make a correction.  She goes straight to the point and serves it cold.

"I cannot tolerate mediocrity that's why I don't work with ordinary people.", she explained. 

"I can spot the ore and bring out the gold in people but they have to be willing to be trained."

Her training though is one which will make even the toughest ones cry.

One time, she made me go around the stretch of Tomas Morato Avenue selling some kind of contraption.

"The heart of any organization is sales.  If you cannot sell, you will have to close shop.", she told me after two long days of knocking on doors.

Knowing that I don't have the courage to sell the idea of a non-profit organization for persons with disability yet, she went with me to every single meeting and spoke to key people we need to bring to our side.  She met with parents, teachers, marketing executives, website developers and volunteers.  She was building a team while I merely looked on.

"Why are you so scared of knocking on doors?", she would ask.

"If your intention is pure and if you believe in your cause then you will definitely get a yes- even from a stranger.  And so what if you get a no, just knock on another door.", she would constantly remind me.

For a year, while we were doing the groundwork for the organization, we had a ritual.  Every Monday morning after meditation class, we would have coffee and she'll share her stories of old.  Then, she would ask me the questions I deem too huge for me like, "Don't you want to help humanity?" or questions I try to evade such as "Ask your heart, what is it that you truly want?". 

Then, when my distractibility gets in the way of that one thing I want, she would nudge me back albeit quite sternly.

Recently, I understood why she had to use tough love on me.  She only had few Mondays to spare.  Last week, she departed suddenly that I didn't get to say goodbye.

Our last conversation though was the ending I have always envisioned.  "Congratulations, you and the Special Achievers team made it happen.", she happily greeted me. (She was on leave from the organization for a year so she can take care of her health.) 

"You jumpstarted the whole thing!  The credit goes to you.", I quickly replied.

This is the part I failed to tell her though, "Thank you Sister Poyee for spotting the ore in me and helping me bring out the gold.  The process was not easy but it was well worth it.  I will forever be grateful." 

  

Are you ready for The Big One?

Kobe, Japan- January 17, 1995, Amidst the rubble, the Indian community huddled together in an evacuation center.  They were thirsty, hungry and afraid.

At 5.46 in the morning,  a 7.2 magnitude earthquake hit the city.  Kobe was in shambles- 150,000 buildings were ruined, 1 km of the Hanshin Expressway collapsed, 120 of the 150 quays in the port were destroyed, and fires raged.  It was difficult for help to come in immediately because of the massive destruction.  (In fact, the 45 minute car ride to Kobe from Osaka became a 12 hour journey.)

Moreover, there were no electricity and drinking water.  Every hour, aftershocks could be felt.  Every aftershock, there were loud screaming, dogs barking and people running out from their makeshift shelter to the devasted streets covered in their quilts and blankets.  The whole day, the people of Kobe froze in the middle of winter- uncertain of their fate.

Inside the center, there was an Indian lady in white sari who kept her calm in the midst of the turbulence.  Rajni Daulatram, Brahma Kumaris coordinator for Philippines and Japan was simply observing the situation and meditating.

"Why are you so calm?", asked some people in the community.

"My consciousness is I am an eternal soul.  The soul doesn't die.  If anything happens- only this body dies.", she answered.

"How can you be so stable?", they prodded.

"I have been practicing meditation everyday for 20 years.  I have trained my mind to be calm."

"What is meditation?", they continued to query.

"Meditation is the practice of being the king of the mind.  It also allows one to declutter all the wastes so the mind can think clearly.  Like right now, it is not necessary to worry or question why this is happening.  Of what use is that?"

"Can you teach us how to meditate?", they asked.

"I've been inviting you to come to our center for years and it's only now that you want to learn?  Meditation is not a pill that you can take which will instantly make you feel good.  It requires practice.", she gently explained.

"Please teach us", they pleaded.

So, she did.

"First, stop complaining in your mind.  Put a halt to all your questions."

"Then, remember who you are. I am a peaceful soul and experience that peace."

"Finally, send good wishes to nature because nature helped us survive this calamity."

So, on that fateday day of January 17,1995 the Indian lady in white sari taught meditation to the community in the middle of the rubble and the aftershocks.

Manila, Philippines- June 2015, 20 years after the Kobe earthquake, amidst news of an impending earthquake in Manila, Daulatram invites the public to learn and experience meditation on June 4 at 6pm in Onstage, Greenbelt 1.

She advises,  "It is good that the Philippine government released earthquake safety tips and reminded the citizens to be prepared.  However, preparation for such a calamity must be two-fold: spiritual and physical."

She explains, "Earthquakes happen unexpectedly, you only have some few seconds to respond.  If you are not spritually prepared, you will be scared and confused.  However, if you can keep your mind calm and alert, you will be able to do what is necessary at the right time."

"A daily meditation practice allows one to accumulate peaceful energy which is very useful in times of crisis", she stressed. 

Do you want to learn how to be spiritually prepared?

    

Are you stressed?

"Are you stressed?", this is the question my colonics therapists asked me every single time I go to their clinic. I've had 11 sessions with different therapists doing the procedure and each one of them asked me the same question.

Apparently, by looking at the fluid being excreted, they can detect the acidity in the body.  Yellow color indicates high acidity and therefore stress.

I refused to believe them.  I always answered with a gentle, "No, I'm not stressed.  I meditate daily.  How can I be stressed?"

Then, I would go on and explain, "In physics, stress is equal to pressure over resilience.  Meditation allows me to increase my resilience so I can handle the pressure."

"I cannot be stressed.", I reassured them.

But, I was so stressed that I wasn't able to fly to India for my annual retreat last year.  I was not acknowledging the pressure that was building up inside me (the resilience I stored was not enough to handle it).  Plus, I was sweeping all my pent up emotions under the rug.

It happens to most of us.  So many things are happening that we don't put in the time to sort out our issues, feelings, and capacity to handle the demands of life and work.  We keep on hustling and bustling around- completing tasks, meeting deadlines and taking care of other people that we forget to take care of ourselves.

Then, we can't be as effficient or as creative or as nurturing.

I saw a note which reads:

All too often, we just need to be reminded. :)

What do you think?