How to Kill an Addiction

Cartoon from http://lastlemon.com/harolds-planet

I'm usually a sensible person.  I'm in and out of facebook- making sure I'm not scrolling the newsfeed for more than 30 minutes on the few times I log in (and that's goes for other online social media- youtube, twitter, etc), I never play online games (or any video game for that matter), I've said my goodbye to the dvd player and videostreaming a long time ago but for some weird reason the tv just got me hooked (Please see The TV Took Me Hostage to know the full story).  I couldn't quite put my finger on it.  So, I did more soul searching to understand why I am doing what I'm doing (since I'm a self-development junkie, I just really need to know).

So, I looked back at my previous patterns.  I saw that if there's something I couldn't handle- I sleep.  If I came across a roadblock- I run away.  If  a bigger-than-life opportunity comes my way, I cringe.  

After facing myself squarely, I realized that I allowed the TV to take hold of me because I couldn't quite pull myself together.  I was not powerful enough to turn the remote off because I am afraid of facing the opportunities in front of me.  I lacked the will and strength to change so I revert back to an old habit.  Also, I wanted to reach the goal but I don't like to put in the work involved to get there.  Like infamous Juan Tamad (Lazy Juan), I opted to sleep under the guava tree hoping that the fruit will miraculously fall straight to my mouth.  I took the easy route- stall and escape!

The TV allowed me to go just that,  lull my mind and go brain-dead for a few hours.  It allowed me to simply dream of the fruit and prevented me from climbing the tree so I can get the guava right away.  It brought everything to a halt just like sleeping.

In actuality, the culprit's not the TV afterall, it's my fear and laziness. 

Yay, now I know the root cause!  Since realization is the first step to change, now, I only need to gather the courage to do the right thing -again and again until I form the habit of just moving forward towards the goal, not minding the hurdles.

Cartoon from http://lastlemon.com/mahoney-joe

  

The TV Took Me Hostage

Cartoon from http://vecto.rs

It's been awhile since I last wrote here.  There were just so many other things. And the very little time that I was free, I've been kidnapped- by none other than the boob tube!  It's actually in front of me right now and I'm resisting the urge to break it into pieces.

While I'm still thinking if I should opt to do that, let me tell you our story.  It started off like an unexpected romance.  After a long busy week, while sitting down on the couch, I took a glance at it and thought,   "I've never really liked you but let's give it a try".  And that's the end of me.  I was glued for hours and hours- just clicking channels, tuning in to catch-up weekends, and running the series' marathons.  I was so enchanted by it that I would delay going to the restroom, the kitchen and even  the oh-so-precious-bedroom (losing a lot of my oh-so-valuable-sleep).  So, I almost gave myself UTI, starved to near death and divorced my beloved bed (at least once a week).

It was a once-in-seven-days affair.  For some weird reason, I would only let myself slide when I know I don't have work the next day.  Thank heavens, some threads of sanity kept me from going berserk all the way!  It was good while it lasted though.  The TV swept me to worlds I could only imagine.  Sometimes, I'm a New Yorker trying to make a name for myself, or a hot shot lawyer, or an artist in search for stardom.  It allowed me to escape my (sometimes) mundane existence.  It comforted me to no end.  It was just always there- making me laugh, letting me dream, taking me to exciting places.

But, in the end I had to let it go.  It was not what I thought it was.  It was sucking the life of me.  It wouldn't allow me to go out and meet my friends, do what I love like write on this blog or cook, and go about my usual sensible routine.  Slowly, I realized that the time I spent in front of it makes me less and less myself.  I allowed it to occupy my time so my projects, writings, sports, advocacies, relationships were all on a standstill.  In a sense, my life was on a halt.

It would only happen once a week but I feel I've waste so much.  Prior to this incident, I couldn't really understand why they say time is gold.  Now, I do.  It's the currency I pay in life.  If I let my hours pass meaninglessly then I spill potential gold coins of new experiences, connections, and learnings.  But, if I use it then I taste life's offerings and insert some coins in a piggy bank labeled future.  By allowing myself to be hypnotized by the seductive television, I spill the coins down in the gutter- never to be retrieved.

Now, you understand why I detest it so much.  But, I will not obliterate it.  Just now, I decided to take the higher road, I will let it live but I shall take my life back!  I hold the remote.            


This photo is from http://pages.shanti.virginia.edu