Wednesday, December 2, 2015

I'm afraid

Before, I was just skimming the surface
Merely checking the playing field
Engaging only when I want to
Then, retreating in my comfort zone if the demand is too much

Times have changed
I feel the pull to cross the unchartered waters
I feel the need to let go of the comfort of the usual
Looks like I have to brave the unknown much sooner than expected

I am afraid

The task I face looms like a mountain  
The stakes are higher
The expectations greater
My inner voice taunts me, "You know nothing about this"

I am afraid

Now, I have to move
The field is ready
There is no time to stall
Everybody's eagerly waiting 

I am afraid

Then, I thought
This is not my task
This is Yours
I'm merely the pawn sent by the commander to do the groundwork

I will hold on to that

Yes, this is Your task
You are in charge
I am merely the one overseeing it for you
I am only a caretaker

Yet, some fear still remains

It clutches my heart like a thief
Who wouldn't let go of an object which is not his
I bravely take a step forward anticipating an attack- none came
And so I run as fast as I can 

I ran until I reach Your sanctuary
I cloaked myself in Your peace
Armed myself with Your strength
Then with all the courage I can muster, I head towards the field assigned for me

I feel the fear slowly ebbing away.

Then, I realize
That fear is not real
It stands tall like a scary thief blocking my path
But if I move, it cannot do anything

I am free

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