I'm afraid

Before, I was just skimming the surface
Merely checking the playing field
Engaging only when I want to
Then, retreating in my comfort zone if the demand is too much


Times have changed
I feel the pull to cross the unchartered waters
I feel the need to let go of the comfort of the usual
Looks like I have to brave the unknown much sooner than expected


I am afraid


The task I face looms like a mountain  
The stakes are higher
The expectations greater
My inner voice taunts me, "You know nothing about this"


I am afraid


Now, I have to move
The field is ready
There is no time to stall
Everybody's eagerly waiting 


I am afraid



Then, I thought
This is not my task
This is Yours
I'm merely the pawn sent by the commander to do the groundwork


I will hold on to that


Yes, this is Your task

You are in charge
I am merely the one overseeing it for you
I am only a caretaker


Yet, some fear still remains


It clutches my heart like a thief
Who wouldn't let go of an object which is not his
I bravely take a step forward anticipating an attack- none came
And so I run as fast as I can 


I ran until I reach Your sanctuary
I cloaked myself in Your peace
Armed myself with Your strength
Then with all the courage I can muster, I head towards the field assigned for me


I feel the fear slowly ebbing away.


Then, I realize
That fear is not real
It stands tall like a scary thief blocking my path
But if I move, it cannot do anything


I am free

video by Release Your Wings