The World is Ganging Up on Me

Photo from http://cauldronsandcupcakes.com

Let me be clear- I write for me and not for anybody else.  I don't talk about my take on the world, I prefer to look into my inner realm.  I don't really care if it's relevant to any other person, but as long as it's pertinent to me then I'll dig into it.

It's a Conspiracy
Now tell me, why is everyone pushing me to submit these scribbles to respected print and online publications?  First, there's my writer-friend, who's a published author and a regular contributor to an online magazine.  She's been coming to the apartment every weekend, and every time she visits she asks if I've submitted my articles to the same magazine she contributes to.  I always tell her I'd try but I've been putting it off for the longest time.  She used to be the only one nudging me to share to a bigger audience but recently everywhere I look I get the same message.  I wonder if the universe is playing a game with me again or is it really just being insistent?

Incidentally, another journalist-buddy stayed in our place for a couple of days.  This morning, out of the blue, she suggested that I send in articles for her national broadsheet as well.  Apparently, she had read this blog.  Again, I gave my excuses, "But, these are simply my reflections on my journey in life.  I do this for me, actually.  It helps me process myself.  I'm not really a writer".  She was adamant, "Some people may probably be going through the same thing.  Your insights can help them".  "Let's see", I noncommitally retorted.  Barely an hour passed, when I picked up the newspaper (which I rarely do), only to find an article which declares, "Communicate to change the world".  I read it but decided to brush off the idea.  I tried to sleep instead.  But since, it's 10am in the morning I couldn't.  So, I opened the boob tube (another activity I try to avoid as much as possible).  Lo and behold, I was directed to a show about a young girl who's about to land a publishing book deal using her journal entries.  Can the universe be anymore blatant?!

A Confession
A conversation from the other day suddenly popped out on the screen of my mind.  Over coffee, I asked another pal when she'll be back from her vacation.  "I don't know", she said.  "I never plan. I just flow"  (She can afford to do that, she doesn't need to work).  Then, I inquired about her planned art exhibit.  She repeated her answer, "I've spoken to a gallery manager already but as to the exact date, I don't know.  When the timing's right, then it will happen.  I never plan. I just flow with life's drama".

Remembering her replies shook me up.  Here I am, being guided to an avenue to express myself and probably help others, but I'm acting like a constipated jerk resisting it because it's not in my agenda.  My coffee buddy's right, why not flow? 

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