The journey to self love and healing did not happen overnight.
First, I had to call out my enemy.
I have waged war against the television, waste thoughts and even laziness and won.
I was happily resting on my laurels, proud of what I have accomplished when the red monster crept in from behind and attacked me. It was so sudden, so unexpected, and so brilliantly strategized. I was held captive.
The fearsome enemy sneaked unnoticed for years. It was slowly and secretly building its arsenal and strength.
Everytime I choose to keep quiet and follow orders I do not understand, it becomes stronger. Whenever I evade the issue and hide in my room, it keeps me company. In the moments I believe that "I cannot do anything right.", it grows bolder. When I say yes even when in my head I'm screaming "No!", it bellows its evil laugh.
It masks itself as the keeper of peace. It's best to agree than cause disharmony, it admonishes. It says simply blow a wish and everything will be ok. It cares not if one feels hurt or low. It simply shrugs the inner turmoil and pretends everything is ok (even if it's not).
I never thought, I've been feeding the monster of anger for so long. Not until, I felt so weak I think I'll die.
In one conversation with friends, it suddenly popped up. I realized I was so angry, I feel drained. I was so angry, I'm driving myself to death. I was so angry, I succumb to depression.
It's been there all along but I have ignored it. Now, the monster's finally out and I stare into its red hot face.
I have been told that this will happen. I often hear it in meditation class, "As in ayurvedic medicine, all the illnesses will erupt before it gets better".
Sister Denise, a senior yogi based in India says that my monsters have to come out so I can eradicate it. Then, I will get stronger and tread through life lighter having eliminated the excess baggage.
Contrary to popular belief that the devil lurks outside, in spirituality, I am taught that I have to drive out the monsters inside of me and extinguish it. So, I can move closer to my true being- one that is filled with power, peace, purity, love and bliss.
Ok then, let the fight begin.
And fight the red monster, I did.
Now 4 years later, having won my inner battle, I'd like to reach out and help others fight their own monsters. (Wait, have you identified what your monster is?) Let me walk you through it in this forum on coping with depression.
First, I had to call out my enemy.
 |
| image from medium.com |
I have waged war against the television, waste thoughts and even laziness and won.
I was happily resting on my laurels, proud of what I have accomplished when the red monster crept in from behind and attacked me. It was so sudden, so unexpected, and so brilliantly strategized. I was held captive.
The fearsome enemy sneaked unnoticed for years. It was slowly and secretly building its arsenal and strength.
 |
| image from wikihow |
Everytime I choose to keep quiet and follow orders I do not understand, it becomes stronger. Whenever I evade the issue and hide in my room, it keeps me company. In the moments I believe that "I cannot do anything right.", it grows bolder. When I say yes even when in my head I'm screaming "No!", it bellows its evil laugh.
It masks itself as the keeper of peace. It's best to agree than cause disharmony, it admonishes. It says simply blow a wish and everything will be ok. It cares not if one feels hurt or low. It simply shrugs the inner turmoil and pretends everything is ok (even if it's not).
 |
| image from pinterest |
I never thought, I've been feeding the monster of anger for so long. Not until, I felt so weak I think I'll die.
In one conversation with friends, it suddenly popped up. I realized I was so angry, I feel drained. I was so angry, I'm driving myself to death. I was so angry, I succumb to depression.
It's been there all along but I have ignored it. Now, the monster's finally out and I stare into its red hot face.
I have been told that this will happen. I often hear it in meditation class, "As in ayurvedic medicine, all the illnesses will erupt before it gets better".
Contrary to popular belief that the devil lurks outside, in spirituality, I am taught that I have to drive out the monsters inside of me and extinguish it. So, I can move closer to my true being- one that is filled with power, peace, purity, love and bliss.
Ok then, let the fight begin.
 |
| image from buzzfeed |
And fight the red monster, I did.
Meditation on Releasing Anger
Now 4 years later, having won my inner battle, I'd like to reach out and help others fight their own monsters. (Wait, have you identified what your monster is?) Let me walk you through it in this forum on coping with depression.
 |
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