Wednesday, March 16, 2016

I looked at depression in the eye

It is ugly 
I tell you
It can make an energizer bunny
Into a zombie

It is a thief
It steals the spark 
In the eyes of its victims 
And leaves them in the dark

It is like a quicksand
It draws them deep 
Into the mud of what ifs and what could haves
Of whys and how comes

It is a predator
It kills its prey
Leaves them lifeless
And in coma

I tried to shake her out of it
I shouted as loud as I can so she would wake up
I begged her to see the bright side
I gave her the best advice I can find in my toolbox

But she was in so deep
Nothing could bring her back to life
Not even the man in white suit
Or the potions he recommends

“It cannot happen to her!”
I protested
I never thought I am capable of anger
Until that moment

For a time
I kept my distance
I could not stand being in the same space
I refused to see her deteriorate before my eyes

It hurts
Because she is the best among us
She can rule the world
If she wants to

I cry
Because she’s so close to me
I know her lofty dreams and ambitions
And I believe in her with all my heart

After a long while
I’ve learned 
To be present when I’m needed
And move away when she needs space

I remind myself to keep mum
When she complains
And just listen
Even when I have a long speech prepared

I try
To understand her instead
She looks well
But deep inside she’s broken 

I saw once
How love heals
I will try that again
Along with faith that she will come back to life

P.S.  If you are also going through something or if you simply want to take a retreat, this might help.  You may register online at 


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