Be careful what you wish for

Around this time last year, I wished for power. 

"Since I've mastered self-love (i thought), it's best if I can complement it with power.", I told myself.

So, I jotted down what power looks like for me:

• making things happen
• doing what I say I'll do
• being on time
• showing strength of character
• being in command

I also listed my affirmations:

• I am strong.
• I make things happen.
• I am disciplined.
• I am powerful!

Then, I looked for role models and did the work:

• I attended retreats and camps on leadership.  
• I interviewed changemakers.
• I rolled-up my sleeves and worked on projects (so I can practice making things happen).

I seriously pursued power like a hunter chasing a prey.  The quest was long and arduous though. 

• I had to wait for what seems like forever.
• I had to knock on so many doors and hear 9 NOs before I get to the 1 YES.  
• I had to let go of something valuable to inch towards a short-term goal.
• I had to face many naysayers.
• I even have to fight enemies!

There were moments when:

• I was at a lost.
• I felt alone.
• I didn't think I can do it.
• I wanted to give up.
• I was seething in anger.

My year was so intense, it felt as though I was in a war zone.

Yes, I was doing what I love but there were so many oppositions, sacrifices and difficulties.

I was hell-bent though.  I pulled out my inner arsenal of strength, determination and resilience.  It helped that I have a fierce army behind me, too.  Together, we triumphed.  

Life, The Universe, The Divine take you seriously when you commit- I learned.

I asked for power.  So, I was given challenges so I can experience my own power.  There was no magic wand which can conjure power with a simple abracadabra.  

image from nerdist.com

2019 taught me that:

• I don't need to chase power.  I simply have to step into it.
• I have to be worthy of it though like Thor with his hammer.
• Like the superheroes, I can never really know powerful I am unless I face obstacles and villains.

So, as you make your wish for the new year, be careful.  More often that not, your heart's desire will not be handed to you on a silver platter.  You have to earn it!   

Meditation on Power