“Don’t take sorrow”

image from google

“Don’t take sorrow.”, says my Teacher.

“I can’t understand.”, I retort back.

You see, I was angry.

I know it’s not very om.  However, recently I learned that it’s best to acknowledge my feelings (tell myself that it’s ok to feel what I feel) and then release it.  So, I will say it again.  I was angry.

image from verywellfamily.com

There’s this person who nitpicks everything I do and tells me over and over again that I can’t do anything right.

I am on the move and this other person blocks my path every single time I inch forward.

I am accomplishing things which I never thought I am capable of.  And another one disregards it and says, “But you forgot this!”. (And it’s really negligible. Aaaaargh!!!)

I was so mad (at so many different people…3 to be exact) that I wish I can wave a magic wand and make them vanish in thin air.

image from google

And then, I checked in myself like I normally do and I saw that I wasn’t really mad at them.

I realized that I still have issues with self-worth and they were merely showing me how I treat myself (at times).

  

The project I’m working on has successfully finished and I scramble to plan for the next run instead of celebrating or taking a pause.

I am an arms-length away from getting the funding I need and yet I stall.

At the back of my head, I still hear a whisper, “You don’t deserve it”.

I am mad at the people whom I feel belittles me because they show me that I don’t believe in myself as much as I think I do.

I guess this is my next challenge: Believing in Myself.

image from google

Are you angry at someone too?

More often than not, if you check in with yourself you will see that that person is merely showing you your hurts, limiting beliefs, negative patterns or your monsters.

P.S.  If you need healing, this workshop in Quezon City, Philippines might be of help.  Register here. Or you can learn how to meditate online.