In the stillness of dawn, while I was sitting in meditation I saw sorrow.
It looked like a small fist-sized ball just in front of my heart. Then, I saw my heart. It had a hole which is the same size as the ball of sorrow in front of me.
I wondered why my heart had a hole.
Suddenly, rays of light from up above started filling the vacuum in my heart.
Then I realized that I never felt sorrow
because I received God’s loving protection., related Anand, a senior classmate in meditation.
because I received God’s loving protection., related Anand, a senior classmate in meditation.
You see when my mom died, everyone in my family was wailing in the hospital. When I arrived, I simply came in and looked at her lovingly and in sweet stillness.
During the final mass, a ceremonial eulogy was conducted. While relatives and friends shared their feeling of loss of a very dear person, I felt we should celebrate her accomplishments. Instead of crying, I asked everyone to clap for my mom’s legacy of a life well lived.
I never shed a single tear during the wake or even days after it.
During that dawn meditation, this 'hollow' feeling emerged. I recognized that I was able to handle the situation with calmness and stability.
The moment this realization came, tears of joy welled up. Yes, it was indeed God's sweet loving protection all along which allowed me to keep a safe distance from sorrow! It was God who filled in the emptiness with His divine pure love.
That day, I saw sorrow but it did not touch me.
P.S. If your heart needs healing or if you simply want to feel loved, you are warmly invited for a day retreat this Sunday, February 7. You may register online at tagaytayretreatcenter.org
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