All I really did was be present

It was Dane Raymundo's fault.

She wanted a birthday party at Child Haus and since she’s a friend and one of the co-founders of Special Achievers, an NGO we started for children with special needs, the NGO helped.

We did what we’re good at- teaching the children. That was October 2014, Ricky Reyes, the founder of Child Haus saw what we’re doing and right there and then invited us to take care of a room in the new Child Haus Building Mr. Hans Sy is then constructing in Manila.

Ricky Reyes said most of the people who visit the kids give them toys and parties. We’re one of the very few who played with them and taught them.

So, we said yes- even if we really don’t know Ricky Reyes or Mr. Hans Sy. We said yes- even if we don’t even have a set program or funding.

In November 2015, when Child Haus moved in their new building we also moved in the play and learn room. We raised funds to equip the room and we also called for volunteers. 

Since I’m the one nearest the facility of all the four co-founders of Special Achievers, I headed the mentorship program. 

Truth be told, I was merely present Sunday after Sunday to witness the generosity of people.

One of the first ones who came to our aid was Rotaract United Nations.  Initially, they would simply help out when they can. In July 2016, Rotaract President Jam Quilala partnered with us and started the literacy program and just like that we have regular volunteers for the whole year. 

This year’s President Josef Ordono continued the literacy program and would also bring the kids out for field trips. 

Also, more people came in to help. Lei Mitchen Sta. Maria, started the STEM and yoga program for kids. And more recently, yoga for caregivers. 

Australia New Zealand Bank (through the efforts of Annah Margarita Montesa) would send in their employees to volunteer once a month.

Asian Development Bank's Office of Risk Management gave funding for books, laptops & school supplies. 

Brahma Kumaris Meditation provided psychosocial support to caregivers. 

Moreover, over 200 individuals, 80% of which are strangers helped us teach children with cancer at Child Haus every Sunday for nearly two years.

All I really did was be there and witness the outpouring of love and support from kind-hearted souls.

Because of this, Special Achievers is now planning to duplicate the mentorship program in SPED elementary schools in the Philippines starting with San Jose SPED Elementary School in Rodriguez, Rizal.  

Again, we’re starting with no funding but fiercer determination.

The two years at Child Haus taught me that there are so many souls who are willing to lend a hand if you give them an opportunity to. I know now that I simply have to be present and allow the kindness and generosity of people to propel the program forward. 

P.S. Recently, I was given a TROPA (The Recognition for Outstanding Performance Award) by Rotary Club of Bagumbayan- Manila for heading Special Achievers' Mentorship Program at Child Haus.  Though I'm truly grateful for the award, I cannot really claim it.  Dana Salonga, Dane Raymundo and Pey Abdulwahid started the NGO with me and we're supported by an army of volunteers.  I was not responsible.  It was really the bayanihan spirit at work.    

How to ride a wave

I’ve lost count of how many times I had fallen off the board, been whiplashed by incoming waves or left by it (Yes, the waves can just quit on you midway!).

Sometimes I thought, “I’m too old for this”.

And then, all of a sudden after an hour or so of failing, I would ride the wave all the way to the shore and that one success is enough to keep me surfing again the next day.

I was really really (twice for emphasis) bad at it during my first 2 days.  I finally got it come day three. Well, the third one’s a charm, right? 

Aside from the coordination, strength and endurance needed, it really is a mind game.

Here are the 3 things surfing taught me:

1.  FOCUS

"Focus Ma'am, focus.” I heard this line from my surfing coach ~70% of the time.   

“Maam, tingin lang po sa shore.”, (Just look at the shore) he would instruct.  

Of course, I didn’t take heed initially.  My eyes would catch the good-looking surfing dude by the  beach (I’m still bent on being a monk (or a lay monk for now) but my eyes still deceive me at times).  When I get distracted like that, I would wobble, tilt and make a big splash.

 “Sayang.” (What a pity.), my coach would say. 

After getting tired of flipping over my board again and again, I finally disciplined my eyes to zone in on one point on the shore and that made all the difference.   

2.  RELAX

“Ganyan lang pala magsurf. Tatayo ka lang sa board.”, (Surfing looks easy, you simply have to stand up on a board.), commented my 62 year old friend who saw my photos.

But, surfers don’t start standing up!

First, I had to lie down on my belly with both hands clipped 

by my shoulders and my left leg bent.  Then when my instructor shouts “Go!”, I would push myself up with both hands, do a three- legged downward-facing dog (making sure that I don't bend my knee on the board), step my other foot perpendicular to the board, put my 2 hands up, bend my knees and  balance on the board - all in 2 seconds! 

It was very cortical at the start.  It was a lot of coordination work and I had to balance on a board moving with the waves.  Given all these,  my instructor would tell me, “Relax lang Ma'am ha. Relax.”

I once asked him, “Paano ba magrelax? ” (How do I relax?) (when my elbows had to be at this position and my knees shouldn’t be like this and my feet should be like that).

“Maam, sundan nyo lang po yang galaw ng katawan nyo.”,  (Just flow.), he answered.

What worked for me was to think of my vinyasa practice (cause the movements are somehow similar to getting up on the board). 

Then,  I would cue myself “Breathe” and somehow my body remembered what to do without overthinking.

I learned that relaxing is simply flowing and breathing through all the complexities. 

3. ENJOY

“Maam, enjoy nyo lang po kasi” (Maam, just enjoy it.), my instructor would remind me.

***I was finally standing on the board after many failed attempts.  I could ride this to the shore, I thought.  Then, all of a sudden, my board stopped moving.

“Naiwanan po kayo ng wave, Maam. Sige po, try po ulit tayo.” (The wave left you, Maam. Ok, let's try again.)

***I was waiting for a wave and my instructor would shout, “Maam, kapit po sa board!”  (Maam, hold on to the board!)  and a gigantic wave would spank me so hard I thought my head flew off.

***I just fell down on the board and before I could regain my balance a big wave came rushing in and I tumbled inside it like a damp piece of clothing inside a washing machine.

In all these circumstances, my instructor only had one advice, “Enjoy nyo lang po, Ma’am.”

So, when it was time to head back to the city, I said goodbye to my instructor and told him, 

“Thank you for teaching me to 

focus, relax and enjoy.”

P.S. I would like to thank my surfing coach, Jay Quematon of Charlie Does Surf School  for being very patient with me.

meditation by Release Your Wings

    

Let’s talk about love

Well in your case, read about love. ( I know I get the upper hand. But hey, you can comment! :) ) 

So, here’s what I think.

We’ve all been deceived.  For years, no, for several lifetimes, everything around us screams.

“You need to find the one.”

“It’s so sad to be alone.”

“There’s someone out there who will complete you.”

They tell us of tales of princesses saved by their knights in shining armors.  We have been made to believe that when we find our one true love or when they find us, life will be beautiful.  We will finally be loved and accepted for who we really are and we will live happily ever after. 

We were trapped in this illusion and so we all went on that search for that elusive one- that one who can make everything bright and sunny and make life worth living.

Somehow, somewhere, I wake up from this hazy dream and begin asking…

“What if I need to find myself first?”

“What if I can be on my own and happy?”

“What if the goal is to be complete and not look for someone who will complete me.”

What if the things we know to be true are really myths.

P.S.  A friend will have a dance-theatre inspired by Mike George's book "Myths About Love….Actually” this Thursday, October 5, 7:30 PM, Powermac Center Spotlight, Circuit Makati.  This is a free event. You are warmly invited.